Continuing on this month’s “LOVE” theme: the world of romance and dating has opened up for me recently. It can certainly be a roller coaster!  Sometimes when we take a risk and put ourselves out there, things don’t turn out as well as we hoped or anticipated. Last night I surprised a man I’m sweet on with an unannounced visit, anticipating he’d be excited to see me. Imagine my surprise when he had female company and didn’t welcome me in with open arms.


Standing there at his door, I felt waves of disbelief, confusion and well, downright queasiness wash over me. Being quite caught off-guard (he said he wasn’t seeing anyone else and wanted to be exclusive with me), it was very difficult to find the words to express myself. 


A subsequent conversation when he called during my hour drive home did not resolve my emotional distress, and I found myself still in a state of extreme agitation upon arriving home.


I knew that if I didn’t promptly soothe myself with lots and lots of self-love, I’d not find any relief for my raw heart nor get a wink of sleep!


First things first: a steaming hot bath, soft candlelight, and quiet meditation to calm my physical body from it’s fight or flight status. At that point, I found myself calm enough to lay down and rest, and then to sleep. But woke very early with my mind racing. 


Sleep stops the momentum of whatever energy and activity is building. But we can start it right back up again if we immediately revisit whatever was bothering us before we slept.


Not wanting to keep wallowing in this uncomfortable state of angst and confusion, I sought immediate relief; this time through artistic expression. I stumbled out of bed and straight into my studio where there was a bright, spring-like yellow and green mural already in progress on my wall. 


There were no words on this mural so far, which suited me just fine. For I didn’t really have words anyway, more like waves of feelings that washed over me as I replayed the previous night’s event in my mind. 


And as this mental review occurred, I threw big colorful shapes and lines all over my mural, using my whole body in the process. It turns out to have a lot of blue and grey now. Including a big juicy splattered dripping heart in the center of it all.


As I allowed myself to just draw lines and colors and shapes without trying to figure out what it all meant, a sense of relief flowed through my hands arms and hips as I moved my whole body in creation of my mural. 


And my thinking brain realized that though I’m deeply disappointed right now, my heart is MUCH bigger and can hold even more than I can now conceive. As this occurred to me, there appeared a bigger and bigger RED heart over and above the bruised and dripping blue and grey one, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.


So now I’m not hooked by this event anymore. Sure there’s still emotion present, and the desire to know what went wrong in something I thought was going well. But meanwhile, I’m happily proceeding with my day and life without that experience dragging me down. 


Honestly, I wasn’t sure whether to share this personal story with you, but thought that my overall experience was just too good to keep to myself.  


I invite you to create your own practices of self-love and soothing, and that maybe they’ll include this form of intuitive Graphic Facilitation


Because really, that’s what I just did for myself: used lines, colors and images to facilitate my own processing of a distressing event. And it doesn’t just have to be an upsetting incident to experiment with your own use of Graphic Facilitation! 


Just after launching myself full time this past year, I woke in the middle of the night with equal parts excitement and anxiety at what I’d just done. 


And found myself standing in my studio in the middle of the night, spontaneously creating a wall mural.

In the top left I reminded myself to NOT use any words by writing and crossing out “words”. 


In the center I created a visual depiction of how I felt now that I’m out in the world fully expressing myself and living my dream: it’s like my heart is singing!! 


Then, when I felt complete with my illustration, I allowed myself to interpret my imagery and wrote those words on the right side of the mural. 


This messy little piece still hangs on my wall, where each day I wake and sleep to see it’s message from me, with love, to myself. 


Both these impromptu murals were created on the back of other murals, so don’t worry about making it formal or finished. The point is to be spontaneous and fully self-expressed. Even splatter a little ink!


Because frankly, it was when I got to point of splattering blue ink on my squished heart in the middle that I really felt some relief from my agitation… so I splattered and dripped a lot more! 

I truly never thought I’d be sharing these murals, or this story, publicly. I prefer to have it all figured out, pulled together and looking good. Probably you do too.


But sometimes the best experiences and learnings in life come from when we feel most vulnerable.  So thank you for receiving my communication. If it makes a difference for even one person, then it’s all worth it! 


As always, I’d love to hear from you! 


Try using a little spontaneous Graphic Facilitation in your own life and share about it as a comment to this blog or on social media…